Monday, October 24, 2005

Sensitivity Training



As mandated by California law, we underwent training in our company's policy on sexual and other forms of harassment (I am not making this up). It occurred to me that framers of jokes might find themselves short of suitable material for jokes if they wished to be compliant with this policy, so I undertook to compose a strictly sensitive and legal joke. It follows:

Three web developers (of unspecified sex) walk into a bar. (1)
They are a PHP coder, a Cold Fusion developer, and a perl hacker. (2)
The bartender asks what they want, and they order beers...
The PHP coder orders a "Miller" because foreign names which may require Unicode support are frightening. (3)
The Cold Fusion developer orders dark beer because he (or she) likes to pretend it's Java. (4)
And the perl programmer drinks six Buds and has consensual sex with a goat. (5)

(1) Web developers are not a "protected minority" in this jurisdiction.
(2) Nor are any users of specific programming languages.
(3) Making fun of notably lacking features of a development tool is not illegal, at this time.
(4) People with inferiority complexes caused by using lame, high level tools are not a "protected minority" in this jurisdiction.
(5) Goats are not a "protected minority" in this jurisdiction.

Monday, October 10, 2005

The Ribbon of Life Has a Powerful Beat



I've just read Jakob Neilson expounding the virtues of "Microsoft's" "New" "What You Get Is What You See" usability initiative in Office (versus Apple's "What You See Is What You Get" concept). Along with many in the Windows world who have been treated to betas of Office 12, he has swallowed a good deal of kool-aid and come to a bunch of erroneous conclusions.

1. This is new (it isn't; heck the "bold" button in Word has always been a bold b)
2. This is one in the eye for Apple (KeyNote, Pages, several iApps, do this kind of thing already, and they do it better)
3. It works

I can't be bothered going into detail here, but first of all this is a step further down the path of obfuscating more efficient ways of using software (e.g., in the case of Word, using stylesheets) in favor of wasting huge amounts of space on fancy toolbars and palettes.

Ultimately, the trend (for both Apple and Microsoft) seems to be to produce a word processor with icons that create an entire "fill in the blanks" document, produced by a "design professional". So Word's icons might have something like a "Moby Dick" icon, where you tab to the field containing "Ishmael" to rename the main character.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Sony Online Entertainment to Act as Honest Broker for Item Sales



Sony has decided to facilitate the sale of in-game items for real-world cash in EverQuest II. While lamentable, this is hardly surprising. They argue that 40% of their support issues have to do with such trade or activates related thereto.

While this is an interesting development, and there will be much discussion of it on the level of "this is a bad thing", "this is a good thing", or "this is regrettable but necessary", as usual the root causes have to do with long held and unquestioned assumptions about what a "role-playing game" is, or aspires to be.

Leaving aside the fact that the only reason, in theory, you play an online game like EverQuest II is to feel some kind of empathy for your character, and that the concept of buying cool stuff using real world cash to make your character more uber so violates this concept that it makes you wonder why you'd play the game at all (or maybe for some people it's more like accessorising Barbie). E.g. why not simply pay Sony to make a monster you can't kill drop dead? Why not simply pay to make your character level 75 (or whatever the mostest highest level is)? This is entertainment, right? Would you watch a TV show where the hero escapes from scrapes by bribing the scriptwriter? Well, maybe if it were a comedy about the TV industry...

The root assumptions underlying all of this baloney are simple and can be explored by showing exactly how well the games industry (paper and computer) has utterly failed to provide the experience it has always aimed for in RPGs.

The quintessential source book for RPGs is The Lord of the Rings. The entire milieu of the D&D world and that of its imitators springs from The Lord of the Rings. This applies to assumptions about the way the world looks, people talks, who lives in it, and what they're up to.

In Lord of the Rings, someone who is basically a country gentleman, of no special skill, and his gardener, a stout fellow, together with two well-meaning idiots (all halflings), go on an adventure which involves a long arduous journey. Along the way they pick up a professional military scout of Royal Lineage, the world's second-most-powerful wizard (soon to be first), and three professional soldiers (human, elf, and dwarf). They are engaged in a number of battles, in which each contributes in some positive way making the best of both their training and natural abilities.

At the end, the gentleman is all but dead from his exertions, but all four of the halflings have gained confidence, and two have grown physically larger and stronger as a result of magical drafts. The world's second most powerful wizard has become top wizard owing to the fall from grace of his boss; he may or may not have gotten more powerful. Aside from that, the characters have not much changed as a consequence of experience besides having new stories to tell, and (in the case of the military scout) having gotten married and gained high social position.

Given this inspiration, what did we get?

A game where no-one starts play with a character capable of doing anything much. If you want to play Aragorn, you have to start as a level 1 wannabe.

A game where the only thing anyone ever gets good at is killing stuff. It's much too hard to make rules about herbalism, but we do have a LOT of different magic swords.

A game which can only represent one kind of hardship -- being attacked by monsters. When was the last time anyone cared about going hungry or freezing to death in your RPG?

A game where the content of the game mainly comprises getting more powerful by accumulating experience, items, and money (the latter two by stealing from the dead).